Chapter 89: God, Have Mercy

When there is a situation where the team's spirit is not united, how do you feel?

Let me confess one thing: yesterday night, during the practice, I was very frustrated. I confess my attitude and behavior were untoleratable. I know people cannot stand me yesterday. Therefore, before I start to write this post, I wanna say that God does not delight in my attitude too. I have my wrong too. Or else, people might criticise me, saying "This Jack says as if he has no wrong at all." Hence, forgive me for I do not know what I am doing, God.

Why was I frustrated? Here are the reasons:

Some people in the worship team were trying to be leaders. Some thought they were very talented, so they were not teachable. Some, who did wrong, did not even know they were wrong so they will point to others and say "Ah ya. You don't know they are like that?" or "I cannot stand them." Some thought they were very smart and good, so they kept pointing out others' problems. Some even tried to argue unnecessary things so time was wasted. Some even make the final decision without asking "Is it ok?". In the end, some went home because their parents had come to fetch them home. Why? Unnecessary time was wasted, so the practice was incomplete.

Someone asked me, "Jack, you look unhappy. Is it because your composed song 'Forever You reign' is not the response song?"


This is not the thing which makes me frustrated. If my composed song is cancelled in the concert, it's fine with me. Because it is composed for my God Jesus Christ, not for the church. Am I writing this song for the people? God knows my worship. Why should I be frustrated? Am I worried about the concert? The answer is "NO".

I wrote "God, have mercy." in Facebook status. I am not pointing to the concert. Do you think the concert will be lousy? Certainly not! All are skillful people.

Yet why I pray for God's mercy? I am pointing to our worship team. I pray for God's mercy upon our pride, our foolishness, our stubborness, our life.

Fools, do you think that when the concert is performed wonderfully, God will delight in our worship? Are you glorifying God? No! You are glorifying yourselves. Do you think you are a skilled musician, then God will be pleased? No! Even if the whole world says it is a wonderful concert, God will find it disgusting!

Why? Because of your own intelligence, your stubborness, your PRIDE!
Why do I pray for God's mercy? When the concert is over, you will continue to show your pride in your life! As if you are a genius! As if you already know how to worship God? God detests that! Where is your HEART OF WORSHIP?


Oh God, have mercy on us.
I cannot change this. God, hear my cry. Change the worship team, turn their heart back to the heart of worship. God, forgive us for we do not know what we are doing. We divided ourselves and do not unite in the body of Christ.

Luke 23:34
"Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots."

Note: If anyone in the worship team is reading this post now, and think "No. I am not like that." Obviously, it says about you, because your pride makes you say that. Ask God to vindicate us.

Chapter 86: Out of the Sudden

Readers must be thinking why my blog is not updated for at least a week. What happened to Jack’s Stuff? This is the story from a week ago.

Bringing my DELL laptop to McDonald, looking for a seat, finding a switch, ordering a Cola drink, promising a friend that I would be online, doing my assignment at the same time, happily opening the lid of the computer, pressing the “ON” button...

WHAT! Why is the light of the power not on? Worrying and looking at the adapter.

Wait! The adapter looked fine. What happened? Trying several times…


Oh no! My DELL lifespan had ended! Oh… My assignments! I had done 5 assignments! And now…

ALL GONE!! OH GOD!!

God, at this time, You play a joke on me? The assignments were almost done! Now what happened? God, this is not funny. Oh God, it is better to be good and back to normal mode. Please God, what happened?

At this time, readers, how would you react? When you are earning your own money, and you were saving for your future, and you are depending on yourself… Unlike students, they can just stretch out their hand and ask money from their parents. Look at my situation, will you feel good to ask your parents for money? Well, my money is not even enough to buy another laptop! If I buy a new one, I will eat nothing (not even maggi) for the rest of this year! This is not funny. What am I going to do?



When you lost your assignments, when you need to redo your whole assignments again, when you have no one to help you, when you are troubled whether you can borrow someone’s laptop to do your assignment, what are you going to do? All the important things which I had kept in my DELL...
Oh man!

Readers, right now, you might not feel it. However, when this happens, remember to seek God first. Tell me what I am going to do in such situation as this. God, have mercy on me.

Ecclesiastes 7:14
"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future."

Chapter 57: Jack, Wouldn't you be Sad?

My dear disciples (Gabriel Pang and Jack Mok) were asking me, “Jack, would you not be sad?”

I thoughtfully answered them,

“Though I am sad, I must show a good example to you all. Since I had made this decision, I shall never turn back. I shall never return and ask for a second chance.”

“Never will I shed a single tear. I shall move forward and live on my life to the fullest.”

“Since this is the fact, it is useless to weep. Whether we laugh or cry, the fact still remained. I shall have no regret!”

“Since we had written this story, we should accept it with sincerity and humility.”

“I am your leader. I had shown you my mistakes. Do not follow my mistakes. Learn from it.”

“Leader is supposed to lead you closer to God. Mistakes which leaders had made can bring teachings to his disciples.”

“God will guide me even better in time of wounds. I will not fall, because I fix my eyes on Jesus once again.”

“Never return back pitifully to the people whom you used to desire with. When they saw your faith, they will respect you even more. They will learn from your strength and endurance.”

“Mark my word. Do not follow my mistake. Always put Jesus first in your life.”

“Things around you can cause you disappointment. People around you can cause you to fall. Do not put them first in your life. God… You must put God first as your first priority of life.”

“God never disappoint us. God never make us fall. When we humbly come to Him, He will lift us up. God promises to love those who put Him first in their life.”

“With God, you lack nothing. With people, you lack love. With things, you lack security.”

“I confess to you that I put the wrong focus in my life. Therefore, I had my fall terribly and miserably. However, I thank God that I manage to set my focus back to God again. Do not repeat my mistakes in your life. Be strong in Jesus Christ. Amen?”

Gabriel Pang and Jack Mok received a lot from this lesson. In the end, Jack Mok concluded,

“I can see that you are much joyful than before.”

Hebrews 13:5
"because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Chapter 55: Back to the same

It's been a long time I did not update my blog. I believe many things happened during this period of time. I did go through a hardship and get it right.

Indeed life is unfair. Accept the fact. That is why it is so interesting that you are living in this world. Sometimes the life which you are living can
give you HELL. You would hate and choose to end your life quickly. But wait...! Why are you so foolish?

I had accepted my fact. I believe in faith.

Jack's Stuff is back to the same
Life will not be the one which you want it to be. Whether you like it or not, you have to accept it. I hate people saying, "This is life. What do you expect?" To me, that is totally nonsense. Only those cowards will say like that. In fact, we should fight to change it. Therefore, I only have one thing to share.

Pursue and force into the way which you believe it will come true, do until
your goal is successful.

This time, I am back to the same again. I have thrown away my burden. The LORD has removed my stronghold in me. I admit that I lost my focus and my goal is shaken during this period of time crisis. I am declaring that I am a free man now. Praise the Lord. I am back to my own again. And no one will stop me again.

Psalms 73:26
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Chapter 44: God, this must be a Joke, right?

On 2 April 2009, on the way back home, Vun Hui said, “Oh! I have not finished my New Testament essay.”

I remained silent, thinking in my mind, “You only need to hand up the research report every Tuesday. You have plenty of time. Why do you worry so much?”

“I hope I can hand up the essay on this coming Saturday.” He, worriedly, murmured.

“Why do you need to hand up on this Saturday?” I, in an unclear view, asked.

He was shocked when I said that.
“What? Do you not know that the due date is on 4 April? It means this Saturday.” He replied.

I still wondered what he was trying to say.
“What essay?”

Once again, he was againshocked This time, he screamed “Wah~! Jack! Do you not know that we have a major assignment which contains 20% of this subject score?”

WHAT?!

When I reached home, I immediately searched the syllabus of New Testament. That it is written right at the bottom of the paper:

“Write a 3000 words essay related to an aspect of the course-work not treated in lectures, to be submitted by the end of the second week after Reading Week (i.e. by 4th April 2009).”



WHAT THE…?
I even highlighted the date “4th April 2009”.

Oh God! I am so stuck in ministry and study. I totally forgot about this MAJOR assignment. (Ok, I admit this is my own fault. No one is to be blamed except me.)

Now what? 2 days left?! You must be kidding! This must be a JOKE, right? In 2 days time, I need to do super rapid reading, and do much research. After that, I need to write out a 3000 words (roughly 10 pages with Bibliography and Table of Content) in less than 24 hours?!

In school, I have to study for Hebrew exam, prepare a preaching sermon for my Homiletics exam, and hand up two weekly reports on Field Education and New Testament. All of these are to be handed up next week!!

In ministry, I have to prepare my Saturday sermon for ASC youth. And I have to shoot a Youth Easter video for Easter Day. And I need to prepare for the Youth Alpha sermon. I am SO BUSY during this weekend.

I am once again stuck in ministry and study with this GREAT 20% major assignment.

God, I need Your strength!

Lord, I am totally tired but I am not giving up!!
Doing rapid research!! I must finish the assignment!!


The Assignment is DUE TODAY!

Psalms 13:2
“How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?”

To be Continued...

Chapter 43: Miss the Feeling

During the fellowship of family group, Dr Frank Gee, my lecturer, asked me, “Do you have any good news to tell us? How has God blessed your week?”

“2 new friends who are non-Christians accepted Christ on last Saturday.” I gladly answered.

“That was indeed GREAT news, Jack! Praise the Lord!” he joyfully exclaimed.

Dr Frank Gee and his wife, Diane
These 2 new friends are the ones who will attend the Youth Alpha as I had mentioned in previous chapter. During the Earth Hour, I challenged the 2 new friends who were Non-Christians in youth cell. I was really glad that my youth really started to bring new friends into youth cell. I know that I need to grab every opportunity to share gospel to non Christians. I believe that it is not easy to bring new friends to church. My youth must be putting a lot of efforts to invite her friends to church. I did not want to waste her efforts and we bring no fruit in the end.

The good thing is that when the 2 new friends received Christ, my youths (two girls) were so happy! It seems that ASC youth has no one who received Christ for a long time. The moment I approached them and said, “Good news! The new friends had just received Christ. Follow them up properly. Write this in your cell report.”

One of the girls was so joyfully that she was jumping up and down, lifting up her hands saying, “Yahoo! Today is really my good day.”

This is the real joy which I had mentioned in Chapter 35: Unspeakable Joy. Even though I did not react like her, I was so joyful in my heart, praising God, saying, “God, all glory be to You. Thank You for using me in Your Kingdom”

It has been a long time that I did not share gospel. I have challenged only 6 persons to receive Jesus Christ last year: 2 in KK, 1 in Australia (through MSN) and 3 in Tawau. I know "6 persons" is very little, quite shameful. It is really joyful though when you see someone whom you challenge has received Christ.

ASC youth leaders and I

I kinda miss the feeling of evangelism.
God, I still remember my prayer request
– to preach the gospel in front of millions.

I wish that really happened in my life.
God, please fulfill my wish.

Please... God... (begging for God's mercy)

Romans 10:15
“And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

Chapter 42: Please God or Men?

Continued from Chapter 41: Unacceptable Attitude

Readers, if you were me, can you stand those arrogant boys’ attitude? Do you feel disappointed when those people disrespect our God and show no reverence to our God?

On the same night, while I was helping out the Adult Alpha Course, there was an aunt asking me curiously, “Jack, why are you so fierce and strict to ASAA students? Are you scared actually?”

WHAT THE...? I'm scared?

Adult Alpha Course
Normally, when a person speaks loudly in public, it is because he wants to overcome his fear towards the people. However, this aunt got it all wrong. Am I scared?

Absolutely NO!!

Those, who are close to me, should know that I am not welcomed by many. I do not even care about my reputation especially when it comes to a stage where I have to stand firm in the presence of God. Am I here to please God or please men?

Galatians 1:10
"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

That aunt, acting like a teacher, continued to said, “Jack, you should not speak so loudly. You should speak gently to those students. You will scare them away. These students are different. You need to deal them with love, gentleness and softness.”

I forgave her for she did not know the whole situation. Deal with gentleness and softness? Come on, man!
Are they still babies? Need me to spoon-feed them? It is because they are different, so I should rebuke them seriously. Even the Junior students are better than them.

ASAA Junior Students
Did she know that the senior students were sleeping while I was mobilizing Youth Alpha? Am I supposed to say gently, "Hello, everyone. Please wake up. Listen to me, please."

This is NOT CHILDREN CELL.

When I spoke loudly to them, does it mean I don’t love them? Indeed, it will not affect my emotion even if there are only 2 persons who attend the Youth Alpha. My task is to share the gospel. Even if there are only 2 persons, I will still share the gospel wholeheartedly.

Do you think I will feel very down and upset because the attendance is only 2 persons?

Of course not!

Think carefully!! If only 2 persons came to Youth Alpha, this shows that the Favor of God falls on these 2 persons.

How blessed are
those who hear and receive the gospels sincerely.

When you met this kind of situation and you know you will waste your time explaining the whole program (because you know they will not listen), is it wrong to speak loudly to get their attention?
I teach you!! If you face this in future, you should give them a strong and powerful rebuke.

To me, I have done my part sincerely. I, as a servant of God, represent God to promote His word (Youth Alpha) to people. Now who’s not listening? Can I control their mind? Even in the Old Testament, the prophets scolded and rebuked the people, do you think they will be welcomed by the people? Do you think they are loved by people? Do you think the people listen? When the prophets scolded and rebuked the people, does it mean they did not love the people?


Readers, Who likes to be scolded and rebuked by me? No one likes it! In fact, this is my true love to them. I tell you the truth. If I do not even rebuke those senior students, it means I do not care about their salvation. If they come to Youth Alpha, I will surely take it seriously to share the gospel to them.

Chapter 41: Unacceptable attitude

On 30 March 2009, at 8am in the morning, I went to ASAA (All Saints Anglican Academy) to mobilize the Youth Alpha.


Before I shared about Youth Alpha, Roy was sharing Word of God first. At first, I was enjoying his interesting sharing... I was actually quite glad that the junior students were interacting with Roy. As I started to look at the senior students, to my surprise, they were not listening to the Word!!

Some slept; some gave “cool” face as if they were very smart; some gave bitter faces to show that it was boring. I even saw some students coming late for the ASAA assembly. As the principal asked them, “Why are you late?” they did not even bother to look at her. They continued their way to the empty seats.

What kind of attitude is this?
(I wish I could shoot video about the real situation...)

I asked someone who was sitting besides me, “Why are these boys acting so arrogantly? They show no respect at all. They even sleep during the time of Word.”

He, without hesitation, replied, “These boys are rich people. They are very proud. They have no reverence for God. They have no fear in teachers.”

In panic, I thought, “Will they come to the Youth Alpha? This is just a waste of time. While I mobilize the Youth Alpha, they will definitely sleep and show no respect to me!!”

“I doubt they will listen.” He, hopelessly, spoke again.

God, since they are so arrogant, I might as well use this chance to rebuke them. I think this will be my only chance to mobilize the Youth Alpha in ASAA. I doubt they will join the Youth Alpha. God, since they have this kind of unacceptable attitude, I will not expect them to come too. Let me presume that there will be no ASAA students joining the Youth Alpha.

God, Your will be done.
If they want to come, let them come.
If they do not want to come, let it be.

When it came to my turn to share the youth alpha, as I expected, they really fell asleep. Some turned their face to ignore what I was saying. Suddenly I shouted in a strict and stern voice, in a sharp and straight tone.

“Listen! You rich people! Your life is not about money only! If you do not come to this Youth Alpha, you miss one of the best part in your life. Challenge me! I will wait for you.”

There was a complete silence – everyone was looking at me in astonishment. (Maybe the Senior students were annoyed and think, “Who do you think you are?” Kinda hate me, ya?)

“I am serious…” I strongly spoke, my eyes looked directly at them.

Proverbs 1: 29, 31 - 32
"Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the LORD, they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.
For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them;"

ASAA Teachers, I really appreciate all your hard efforts and love on these Senior students. Besides that, I like the Junior Students.

Keep up the good work, fellows.



To be continued

Chapter 40: Earth Hour

"Earth Hour is a global event organized by the World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF) and is held on the last Saturday of March annually, asking households and businesses to turn off their non-essential lights and other electrical appliances for one hour to raise awareness towards the need to take action on climate change. Earth hour was conceived by WWF and the Sydney Morning Herald in 2007, when 2.2 million residents of Sydney participated by turning off all non-essential lights."

Written in Wikipedia



WWF sincerely has the heart to remind all the world about turning off all non-essential lights. It is indeed a good event. God indeed wants us to take care of the earth nicely.

Genesis 1:26
"Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." "

However, I believe not all people participate this event. We were having a youth cell from 7:30PM to 9:30PM on last Saturday. We did not switch off the light and PA system. Indeed, I felt a bit moved by the Earth Hour, when many youths came to me and ask, "Jack, why can't we participate this Earth Hour?"

I have no answer for that. In my mind, I was thinking about their spiritual growth. Frankly speaking, I did not know how to answer them.
I remained silent. I knew that they felt disappointed and discouraged.

God, at least there is one thing I feel encouraged. Some people still care for the earth. However, Some people might say that those, who just participate for fun, are hypocrites.

Listen. Even though they participate for fun, at least they had saved that one hour energy to do good to the earth. In fact, they are better than those who say, "Don't be hypocrite." and didn't participate it at all. I prefer them to keep quiet and say nothing about it, since they didn't participate either.

God, You created this wonderful world, yet we human destroyed this creation and disobeyed Your word.

Please forgive us
for we do not know what we are doing.

Related topic >>>Chapter 13: Creativity

Chapter 39: Names (Part II)

Continued from Chapter 38: Names (Part I)

Readers, you will never understand the power of “names”. Do not underestimate the truth about “names”. The word “names” can influence the whole world (you and me) either in good or bad way.

When a person, who is famous, comes to you,
you will want to see him.
When a person, who has much wisdom, comes to you,
you will want to learn from him.
When a person, who is evil, comes to you,
you will stay away from him.
When a person, who loves people, comes to you,
you will love him.
When a person, who has high authority, comes to you, you will fear him.
When a person, whom you respect the most,
comes to you, you will want to follow him.
Why do you have such reactions?

It’s because of their “names”.

Proverbs 3:4
“Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.”


Readers, you may not agree with my perception. Nevertheless, you do not even know that you were influenced by “names” in your daily life. Jack’s Stuff is one of the “names” which has influenced some people to move on their life. Do you know who these people are? Maybe you do not even know, and now you know.

In the same way, God’s name is reverence and mighty. Do not simply ignore the name of the Lord. The name “Jesus Christ” is above every name. The name “Jesus Christ” has impacted the whole world until now. Jesus Christ is the Savior, the Son of God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. When He returns, we will bow down to Him in fear. Why can't the people feel the fear of His Holy Name? Readers, you may not understand His wrath. You will understand what I mean when Jesus returns in His Holy name.


If you dishonor the name of Jesus Christ, you will surely bring God’s wrath upon yourself. What more if you honor the name of Jesus Christ in righteousness, His great blessing and His loving favor will fall upon you…

Philippians 2:10
“that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,”

Chapter 38: Names (Part I)

“Hey! Mok Jia Jun!”

Michael called me on 26 March 2009. He told me that he hates people calling his full name in a mocking way. I believe that if they just call “Jia Jun” in a sincere way, Michael will accept it.

Jack and Michael
Everyone has a name. A name is given for that person’s identity. A name is never given to make fun of. I do hate people dishonor my name “Jack” by calling me “Jackass”. Fellows, you do not even know that you disgrace the name of God. Do you not know that “Jack” means “God is gracious”? Such a simple yet a wonderful name, my mother has given to me. Hallelujah!

Proverbs 22:1
"A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold."

“Names” are powerful. It can influence your emotional, physical, and spiritual.

If we respect and honor others’ names,
we gain people’s love, respect and trust.
If we disrespect and dishonor others’ names,
we gain people’s hatred, anger and vengeance.
If some names are famous,
people will feel envious and jealous.
If some names are unpopular,
people will feel disgusting and sick.

Why do people hate others to make fun of their names? As I had mentioned in Chapter 29: Human Beings (Part I), human beings are weird. When people make fun of others’ name, they think it is very fun, but when their names are made fun by others, they will be angry. Do they not know others will hate it too when they make fun of others’?

I have a youth named John PSD. PSD means “Prabakaran Solomon Dhanaraj”. “Prabakaran” means Morning Sun, “Dhanaraj” means King of wealth. But, some fools make fun of his surname by calling his surname “Play Station”.
You think it is funny? How rude it is. Do you think he will not be angry?

John PSD
Readers, who likes to let people making fun of their names? Only the fools will make fun of people’s name. When the fools make fun of others, do they not know that their reputation will be destroyed by their own stupid words? When they make fun of others, do they not know they create enemies? Do they not know that their names will be very irritating and disgusting when others hear their “bad reputation” names? And it is even more pathetic for the fools to say,

“Hey! Why is he so petty? We are just playing with him only. Why is he so serious? He cannot take jokes.”

Proverbs 18:6
“A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating.”

These people are really fools.
Don’t you think so? Respect people’s name for every name is unique for their own identity.


To be continued Chapter 39: Names (Part II)

Chapter 37: Right Decision

Continued from Chapter 36: First Priority

After a long prayer, I decided to stay in church ministry. I had decided to let go of the Choir Presentation.

I believe Bishop will help me to explain this matter to STS. To stand firm in my position, Anglican is where I supposed to be right now.

However, one thing to know… The people will think that Anglican is arrogant. In this world, even Christians have divisions. In my own view, Christians intend to start comparing between one another about who is the first. However, I really do not understand one thing.

Mark 9:35
“Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."”

I always tell my disciples about Mark 9:35.

Do the churches know about this bible verse?
Why are the churches competing to be the first?
Do they not know those, who are the last, supposed to be the most humble among all people?

God will lift up the humble to be the first.
I supposed every church should know this very clearly. Why is there competition?
Even there are conflicts between the churches…

Now I, as a middleman, am cracking my head in making decision whether to choose credit hour or church ministry. I think I have made the right decision. Will outsiders think that Anglicans are not united with others? Well, why do I need to bother whether we are united?

God, You shall be my focus!
You shall be the one whom I follow.
Not anyone else…

Jesus, so I look to You.

Chapter 36: First Priority

On the way to STS school, I was worrying about one thing. As I was entering into the theater for Choir practice, I managed to take a breath out. As I was thinking whether I should discuss the problem with my lecturer, she came and sat besides me, smiled and said,

“Jack, you will be the narrator
for the choir presentation on 11 April 2009.”


What?! Eyes widely opened.

Astonished!!


That is the problem which I was about to tell my lecturer. STS will be having a choir presentation on Saturday, 11 April 2009. It is about Easter Celebration. I supposed to assist ASC youth ministry on every Saturday. I was thinking whether Bishop will allow us to join the STS choir on tat day.

People always tell us to put the first priority – the church ministry. I know that the youth ministry is important to me. However, the choir presentation is one of the compulsory events for my credit hour. (Credit hour – those who have studied in college or university will understand what I said.) Choir is one of the school requirements which all students MUST attend and join in choir.

If I choose church ministry, my credit hour which is compulsory will be gone. If I choose the STS choir presentation, my credit hour will be earned.

How am I going to bring this matter to Bishop? How should I tell my lecturer? Will she be angry? Will others think that Anglican is very arrogant? Will Bishop allow? Will Bishop be angry too? (I am not saying that he is a bad guy.) Furthermore, I really do not want to create a division between Anglican and others in STS.

God, again I am stuck in ministry and study, additionally political issue too. Now, I have one more task to do. Both are important. Which one should I choose?

“Jack, you are playing a very important role. You are representing the whole STS choir to do the narration. We are all depending on you.”

Now, if you are in my shoes, which one do you choose: Credit Hour or Church ministry?


John 14:1
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me (Jesus Christ).”

Chapter 35: Unspeakable Joy

Who can actually explain what joy is all about? We can only say, “We have joy in Christ.” However, people always asked, “Why do Christians still feel sad and sorrowful even though they have Jesus Christ?” Sometimes we really misunderstand the meaning of “joy”.

I was very nervous about my “History of Christianity” assignment. I earnestly prayed for a good result. You may not understand why I felt it that way. Here is my bad past. I admit that I used to be a bad student who never studied at all. I wasted my parents’ hard-earned money. Even till a stage, where I even failed my Degree in New Zealand. I always despised myself and I thought that Study is never the thing for me.

I hate study,; I hate books. After failing the degree, I actually had a phobia in studying. Whenever I heard about test or exam which needs to use my intellectual thoughts, I will feel totally scared. I will always escape from intellectual test and exam. I hate reading books.

Running away from books for 7 years
In STS, I felt nervous about my study. I spent more hours than others on my research. I spent more hours to gain my understanding in studies. I am not smart and intelligent. I am usually slower than others. However, I cherish this opportunity to study in STS. I wanted to overcome my fear. I am passionate for the Word of God. I prayed so hard for every assignment. I have to study very hard but I have so many ministries on my hands. To cope with my study and ministry at the same time, how can it be? God, have mercy on me.

On 11 March 2009, I saw the “History of Christianity” assignment in my box when I walked into the student lodge. Fearfully I grabbed the paper; I did not dare to look at it. I prayed hard, “God, please… I do not want to be the Jack in New Zealand. I really hope to pass.”



95 marks!! Serious?!

I was staring at the paper for a few seconds of silence. I put the paper into my chest. Body seemed to bend down and place my head on the wall. Tears almost fell out of my eyes. At that time, I really understand the meaning of “joy”. I closed my eyes, saying in mind, “Thank You, God! Thank You, God!”

Though that moment was just a short glimpse, yet that was what I called “unspeakable joy”. That’s amazing, God.

Deuteronomy 16:15
“For the LORD your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your joy will be complete.”

Ephesians 5:20
“always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Chapter 34: F2 Telematch

We had a F2 telematch for the youth last Saturday (21 March 2009). It was the first time which the English and the Chinese youth combined together in ASC.


That was really an enjoyable time together. Fellowship is always a good thing for all the people especially Christians. If we were to discuss about healthy fellowship, that is always to do with our God, Jesus Christ. When normally great fellowship happens, we will only find happiness, joy and peace. I love to see the youths’ face expressions. I found the word “joy” is applied on that day. On that day, we had 5 games altogether: Tug-of-War, WWE, One legged catcher, Dodge ball and Water War.

You may enlarge the pictures below if you wanna see clearly.

Tug-of-War
WWE ASC Youth (Boys only)
One Legged Catcher (Girls only)
Dodge Balls
Water War

As you all know from Chapter 24: Reading Week, I was one of them who set up the games for the F2 Telematch. Even though I was very tired, I actually enjoyed the whole event. As long as I can see their real smile, it is worth it after all. As long as I could see the youths were enjoying the games, it filled my whole heart with joy. I really hope they can enjoy as much as possible because I really love them.

After the Water War, the youths chased me!!
They splashed the water on me!! What is this?!
This is my reward (All drenched)

Romans 8:28
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”