Showing posts with label disciples. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disciples. Show all posts
11 January 2010
Chapter 123: A Dark Period Of Silence
There was a moment which I did not blog.
People asking me where I am,
what I am doing, when am I going to appear again... also asking what the fish is going on in my life...
That was because I was...
in a dark period of silence
As life still went on, I faced a tremendous stress. I was thinking about my financial stability. When I stepped out into society, I began to understand more about reality and expose even more challenges. My network began to grow - a wide range of people...
As I moved on meeting people, I began to feel restless, and found many people had their finance stable. As for me, what did I have?
Nothing at all to stay survived.
When those dark moments came, my anger aroused, my fear trembled, my stress overwhelmed... People around me worried; they are absolutely upset about my bad situation, some even cried.
I felt a strong darkness started to grow within, and I was confused who I used to be. I even asked "God, where am I? Am i going to be a 'devil'?"
God, I am not worthy at all for Your mercy, but I plead for mercy. Bring me back to You. I hurt my loved ones; I could not control my anger; I did not understand why I become like that.
Negative thoughts knocked on my door; My sense of hope turned away from me. That was one of the darkest moments which I ever encountered. Yet my dear friends were looking for me, and caring for me. The love of God still reminded me who He is. However, my heart was as hard as stone. Even my disciples came to encourage me, yet I offended them, and they were hurt in return. At that time, who can help me? Who am I?
A monster? A person who cooperated with darkness? Then who is God to me?
The power of darkness grew within, and confusing my mind, saying that I was not belonging to the church anymore. The mind came telling me "The church will not care for you anymore." I lost my trust towards them. The darkness blinded my eyes saying "In order to succeed, power of darkness MUST BE compromised." My loved ones could not even talk to me, and they were sad to complain about my temper. They cried bitterly "God, show Your mercy." My mindset told me to sin, and do something illegal, tempting me "Easy money comes from the dark."
As I was about to enter into darkness, God showed His mercy. He opened my eyes and once again, I saw His glory. At that time, God reminded me,
"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go." (Isaiah 48:17)
Psalms 118:5-6
“In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free. The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”
09 October 2008
Chapter 12: My 4 New Disciples
Written on 9 October 2008
In 2007,
In Labuan, Michael, Jack, Jusslee, Jeffry are my first 4 disciples.
Click here for Chapter 2: My First 4 Disciples
In 2008,
In KK and Tawau, I have another 4 more disciples.
They are Benjamin Chong, Gabriel Pang, Joshua Giam, and Andy Chong.
These 8 disciples love to stay close to me because of my life testimony. They found the same purpose of life as mine. They do not want to stay in a world where no one would recognize them.
They wanna be someone outstanding. They had been trying to find a way to make themselves well-known. They were attracted by Jack’s Stuff. Yet the testimony about God in my life is even more impacted in their life. They love God and they experienced God. Their life was changed by Jesus.
________________________________________________
Benjamin Chong
He is a Chef. We met each other in Diocesan English Youth Camp. That was in December 2007. He was inspired by my CWalk. He said CWalk is like as if we are flying or hovering or flowing on the ground. He loves Heeltoe very much. The CWalk in KK video, he is also one of the persons. Check the link below
CWalk in KK
His dream is to teach the next generation to become good chefs. He wanna teach them with Love of God. Currently, he is in Taiwan now. He is learning to be a great chef. Who know one day while all of us seek the Kingdom of God together, he will be our great chef. I believe we wont be worrying about food anymore… ha ha…
_____________________________
Gabriel Pang
He is a potential guy. His communication skill is strong. His English is fluent. Yet he still needs to learn how to use it wisely. He is a fast learner – guitar, CWalk, and communication skills. He likes to follow me whenever I go. He is also the same like Jack Mok. However, he is much taller than Jack Mok. The CWalk in English Camp video, he is also one of the persons. Check the link below
CWalk in English Camp
On 15 Sep 2008, he cried sorrowfully when he sent me off from Tawau Airport. He was the only guy who accompanied me from Church to Airport. I was so glad to have him as my disciple.
He even stayed with me during the very last night in church. We talked about life and truth. That is the only time that he learnt so much from my experience…
_____________________________
Joshua Giam
He is a very interesting guy. His speech is not fluent at all time. However, he always loves to talk about God. He has extraordinary dreams. He did want to change the world for God. Yet he does not know how to begin the journey and start to do great things for God.
He has visions and dreams from God. He told me that God always speak to him. He said his soul came out of his physical body at one time, and God showed him the Heaven. He was so excited and said that he wanna change the world for God. He said that his mission for God is something to do with Muslims. I guess many people who hear his dream will say that he is obviously lying. I choose to believe him.
But there is one thing he used to do. He fought all time in his childhood. Now he was greatly changed by Jesus. And he always look to me as a leader and a great brother.
_______________________________
Andy Chong
He always seek my advice in his life. The funniest thing about him is that he always look for me and ask about how to be a good boyfriend. He got a girlfriend, but he doesn’t know how to treat his girlfriend in the right way. He always listens to me. I like him very much.
He is a very generous guy. His mother is so good to me. They know I am having a financial disability. They will always bring me out for dinner after Saturday Night church service in Tawau. Remember that!! Almost every Saturday… I believe they really treat me as their family.
He really loves me very much. He gave a card written that I am a great brother and a great leader. The most touching thing is that he wrote this, “If I have ever offended you, please forgive me.” From his true heart, not everyone can do like he did.
____________________________________
But one day in Sep 2008 which happened to be the same in Labuan (Sep 2008), we were parted except Benjamin. Benjamin left to Taiwan since February 2008. And there is a promise between us – we will be united together in future. There is also to fulfill something bigger in our purpose of life.
Our ultimate goal is to search for greater glory of God and to impact the life of others in the name of Jesus.
In 2007,
In Labuan, Michael, Jack, Jusslee, Jeffry are my first 4 disciples.
Click here for Chapter 2: My First 4 Disciples
In 2008,
In KK and Tawau, I have another 4 more disciples.
They are Benjamin Chong, Gabriel Pang, Joshua Giam, and Andy Chong.
These 8 disciples love to stay close to me because of my life testimony. They found the same purpose of life as mine. They do not want to stay in a world where no one would recognize them.
They wanna be someone outstanding. They had been trying to find a way to make themselves well-known. They were attracted by Jack’s Stuff. Yet the testimony about God in my life is even more impacted in their life. They love God and they experienced God. Their life was changed by Jesus.
________________________________________________
Benjamin Chong
He is a Chef. We met each other in Diocesan English Youth Camp. That was in December 2007. He was inspired by my CWalk. He said CWalk is like as if we are flying or hovering or flowing on the ground. He loves Heeltoe very much. The CWalk in KK video, he is also one of the persons. Check the link below
CWalk in KK
His dream is to teach the next generation to become good chefs. He wanna teach them with Love of God. Currently, he is in Taiwan now. He is learning to be a great chef. Who know one day while all of us seek the Kingdom of God together, he will be our great chef. I believe we wont be worrying about food anymore… ha ha…
_____________________________
Gabriel Pang
He is a potential guy. His communication skill is strong. His English is fluent. Yet he still needs to learn how to use it wisely. He is a fast learner – guitar, CWalk, and communication skills. He likes to follow me whenever I go. He is also the same like Jack Mok. However, he is much taller than Jack Mok. The CWalk in English Camp video, he is also one of the persons. Check the link below
CWalk in English Camp
On 15 Sep 2008, he cried sorrowfully when he sent me off from Tawau Airport. He was the only guy who accompanied me from Church to Airport. I was so glad to have him as my disciple.
He even stayed with me during the very last night in church. We talked about life and truth. That is the only time that he learnt so much from my experience…
_____________________________
Joshua Giam
He is a very interesting guy. His speech is not fluent at all time. However, he always loves to talk about God. He has extraordinary dreams. He did want to change the world for God. Yet he does not know how to begin the journey and start to do great things for God.
He has visions and dreams from God. He told me that God always speak to him. He said his soul came out of his physical body at one time, and God showed him the Heaven. He was so excited and said that he wanna change the world for God. He said that his mission for God is something to do with Muslims. I guess many people who hear his dream will say that he is obviously lying. I choose to believe him.
But there is one thing he used to do. He fought all time in his childhood. Now he was greatly changed by Jesus. And he always look to me as a leader and a great brother.
_______________________________
Andy Chong
He always seek my advice in his life. The funniest thing about him is that he always look for me and ask about how to be a good boyfriend. He got a girlfriend, but he doesn’t know how to treat his girlfriend in the right way. He always listens to me. I like him very much.
He is a very generous guy. His mother is so good to me. They know I am having a financial disability. They will always bring me out for dinner after Saturday Night church service in Tawau. Remember that!! Almost every Saturday… I believe they really treat me as their family.
He really loves me very much. He gave a card written that I am a great brother and a great leader. The most touching thing is that he wrote this, “If I have ever offended you, please forgive me.” From his true heart, not everyone can do like he did.
____________________________________
But one day in Sep 2008 which happened to be the same in Labuan (Sep 2008), we were parted except Benjamin. Benjamin left to Taiwan since February 2008. And there is a promise between us – we will be united together in future. There is also to fulfill something bigger in our purpose of life.
Our ultimate goal is to search for greater glory of God and to impact the life of others in the name of Jesus.
10 January 2008
Chapter 2: My First 4 disciples
Written on 10 January 2008
Actually many people hate me (now I still do not figure out the reason for hating me). Only my disciples… They will never hate me. The guys whom I will never forget…
Michael Mok, Jack Mok – They are brothers.
Jusslee Tan, Jeffry Tan – They are brothers.
These 8 disciples love to stay close to me because of my life testimony. They found the same purpose of life as mine. They do not want to stay in a world where no one would recognize them.
They wanna be someone outstanding. They had been trying to find a way to make themselves well-known. They were attracted by Jack’s Stuff. Yet the testimony about God in my life is even more impacted in their life. They love God and they experienced God. Their life was changed by Jesus.
_______________________________________
Michael Mok
He is a person who is very determined to get his goal. He is a very diligent guy who always wanna go for the best. I still remember that the first time he met me, he thought I was worse than an ordinary guy. (At that time, I dressed very weirdly, with moustaches, with lousy hairstyle… etc) “Hi, I am Jack.” He felt, “What can this guy do in my life? He is nothing!”
When time goes on, he found that I am extraordinary person. He was shocked and glad to meet me. He says he will never regret knowing me in his life. I should be the one who should be thankful to God and him. In my life, no one actually appreciate me except my disciples. He is the one who appreciates me the most.
______________________________________
Jack Mok
He is a person who loves to stick with me wherever I go. He will always be there with me whenever I do something alone. Everyone may enjoy feast and drink together. No one will want to miss the fun. I will just slowly fade away from the crowd to do my things, but when I was doing my things quietly, there is a voice behind me “Jack”.
I will ask him “Why do you look for me? You should enjoy the fun with them.” He will say this to me, “You are the one who will make me happy. I prefer to follow you.” I am so touched when I hear this every time. It’s because he says it sincerely, unlike others
________________________________________
Jusslee Tan
He is a quiet person who will always need care and concern. He is different from others. He will do things carefully and nicely.
I still remember his expression when he did the tasks which I had given him. His eyes contained full of concentration, inspiration, and determination.
The only weakness is that he has no confidence in himself. He always say this to me, “Jack, you are the only one who will always encourage me the most.”
______________________________________________
Jeffry Tan
He is a very gifted person in music. He learns guitar and photography from me. He likes to find me for further improvement in his talents.
I did say this to him before I left my hometown, “When you are stronger than me, I will be even glad because you have grown up.” I remember he even helped me in video shooting. I was very impressed by his improvement.
But one day in Sep 2007, we were parted. They were so sad. And there is a promise between us – we will be united together in future. There is also to fulfill something bigger in our purpose of life.
Actually many people hate me (now I still do not figure out the reason for hating me). Only my disciples… They will never hate me. The guys whom I will never forget…
Michael Mok, Jack Mok – They are brothers.
Jusslee Tan, Jeffry Tan – They are brothers.
These 8 disciples love to stay close to me because of my life testimony. They found the same purpose of life as mine. They do not want to stay in a world where no one would recognize them.
They wanna be someone outstanding. They had been trying to find a way to make themselves well-known. They were attracted by Jack’s Stuff. Yet the testimony about God in my life is even more impacted in their life. They love God and they experienced God. Their life was changed by Jesus.
_______________________________________
Michael Mok
He is a person who is very determined to get his goal. He is a very diligent guy who always wanna go for the best. I still remember that the first time he met me, he thought I was worse than an ordinary guy. (At that time, I dressed very weirdly, with moustaches, with lousy hairstyle… etc) “Hi, I am Jack.” He felt, “What can this guy do in my life? He is nothing!”
When time goes on, he found that I am extraordinary person. He was shocked and glad to meet me. He says he will never regret knowing me in his life. I should be the one who should be thankful to God and him. In my life, no one actually appreciate me except my disciples. He is the one who appreciates me the most.
______________________________________
Jack Mok
He is a person who loves to stick with me wherever I go. He will always be there with me whenever I do something alone. Everyone may enjoy feast and drink together. No one will want to miss the fun. I will just slowly fade away from the crowd to do my things, but when I was doing my things quietly, there is a voice behind me “Jack”.
I will ask him “Why do you look for me? You should enjoy the fun with them.” He will say this to me, “You are the one who will make me happy. I prefer to follow you.” I am so touched when I hear this every time. It’s because he says it sincerely, unlike others
________________________________________
Jusslee Tan
He is a quiet person who will always need care and concern. He is different from others. He will do things carefully and nicely.
I still remember his expression when he did the tasks which I had given him. His eyes contained full of concentration, inspiration, and determination.
The only weakness is that he has no confidence in himself. He always say this to me, “Jack, you are the only one who will always encourage me the most.”
______________________________________________
Jeffry Tan
He is a very gifted person in music. He learns guitar and photography from me. He likes to find me for further improvement in his talents.
I did say this to him before I left my hometown, “When you are stronger than me, I will be even glad because you have grown up.” I remember he even helped me in video shooting. I was very impressed by his improvement.
But one day in Sep 2007, we were parted. They were so sad. And there is a promise between us – we will be united together in future. There is also to fulfill something bigger in our purpose of life.
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