Chapter 144: The Anger Within

Few days ago, I encountered a trouble in Facebook.

Whenever I wrote any kind of status on my Facebook, a guy would write something sarcastic or "like" it. I was wondering why he would do that to me. Though he did not directly point me, yet I understand he was writing those particular messages to me where no one will know what happened.

It is time to think whether I had wronged him or anything. Seriously speaking, I did not do anything wrong to him. However, why would he write such things like those?

Maybe he heard some gossips about me from outsiders? I do understand there is no way to have NO ENEMY in life. Whenever you live a good and peaceful life for a certain period, someone will want to attack you emotionally by words. From there, you will start to live a life which you will always think of those criticism and insulation. You will start to worry who has made this gossip around you. Your heart will start to depress where you cannot even have the strength to move on. You will feel like escaping to a comfort zone and hide yourself in peace.

BUT... when you think it back, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! Why do you need to hide yourself from the light? If you can understand what I am trying to describe, this was the situation which most people will encounter.

To speak the truth, I do not hate that guy. Of course, I must admit I did have anger in me. Asking those question, "Why did he have to do that to me?" Still, I have to give compliment to that fellow. He is a smart guy who has his own talents and ideas. But why would such a smart person attack me in the first place?

I was angry in heart. I wanted to rebuke him, and I wanted to scold him. When I was about to write back those unkind words to him, Holy Spirit rebuked me by saying, "Jack, do not do that. You are not supposed to make wars with people."

At that time, you may understand I was struggling/wrestling with my beloved God. A situation where you wanted to take revenge, and your loved ones told you not to do it. And you got to force yourself to extinguish the fire in you. That was terrible.

For God's sake, I do not write unkind words. It is not because I wanted to protect myself, but to protect the name of Jesus Christ. His name should not be disgraced.

In my mind, I started to set plots of how to deal with him when we meet face-to-face in public. I was thinking of how to shame him in public and many other ways to satisfy my vengeance. Suddenly, Holy Spirit said again, "No! You are not supposed to hate him. You should not do that to please your own vengeance. You must love your enemies! You should not make war. You have to be a peacemaker. You have to FORGIVE him as how I had forgiven you."

I struggled! I said, "But God, why did he have to do this to me?"

God answered, "Let it go as how I (Jesus Christ) let them go. I even died on the cross to prove that I do not hate. I love all."

"God, I am sorry. How am I supposed to love?"

"Jack, I died for him too. You have to forgive as I have forgiven you."

I was totally frustrated but I have to obey God. In the end, I deleted him from my Facebook because I knew I would do something foolish if this continues. God is right, I deleted him not because I hate him but to protect the name of Jesus Christ.

Today, as I went to the car workshop to change the car tyres, God touched my heart, saying, "Jack, I am pleased for you do not make war with him. Indeed, you make the right choice for not hating him."

Then I started to pray, "God, I listened to You for You are my God. I should not hate. Guide me. I will love him. In fact, God, help me and him to be good friends again. I really hope there will be no trouble or misunderstanding between me and him. I commit my friendship and him into Your mighty hand. I pray that You will bless his business. And I will forgive him as You have forgiven me."

Right now, even if he continued to gossip and criticize about me, let it be. For I know one day God will be the judge and reign in peace. From here, I did learn something - a lesson which God reminds me not to be too proud when you succeed in life. Humility always comes first even though you are stronger than many people. Always keep my mind in focus, knowing that God is the one who loves and bless me.

Lastly, God said, "Why focus on a person's unkind attitude? Look at your surroundings, Jack. There are many people who will continue to support you and your artwork. Instead of the small dot, focus on the bright side."

Matthew 5:9
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God."