12 January 2009

Chapter 21: Where am I

Written on 12 Jan 2009


On 7 Jan 2009, Jack's Stuff enrolled in a new school – Sabah Theology Seminary (STS). The first day in orientation week, I did not feel like a student. Indeed, I felt that I wasn’t either in school or in church.


My mind is still in ministry state now, yet I am in school studying. I know many people told me to settle down myself and prepare to go for studies. But my ministry for God will never end. I really try my best to calm down. Yet there are still ministries waiting for me to be done. Too many things happened at the same time in the beginning of 2009, I really need God to guide and lead me through. To tell the truth, I found that the beginning of 2009 is a mess for me. It is so messy that I do not even wanna care about it.

God, have mercy.

Nevertheless, I give thanks to God for the opportunity to enhance my knowledge in Bible. I am studying Bachelor of Divinity (BD). Basically in future to come, I will be a shepherd to take care of the church.

Frankly speaking, I do not know a lot of things. I still have a lot to learn. Different people interpret “LIFE” in different ways. I do agree that life is short. Life is a process of learning. Life is a chance to know God. Well, I do agree to all people said. It is because different people have different journey.


As it goes for the same, different people have different journey with God. However, the funny thing is that some people tend to think their life is much richer, more experienced than others. I do want to mention one thing – please understand other people’s life. We have no right to comment or compare our life with others, for example: whose life is better? Whose relationship with God is better?

Meaningless,
Pointless, Senseless

If those people who love to say, “I can do it. Why can’t you do it?”, then they should compare themselves with the people in Bible. The people in Bible (e.g. Peter, Paul, Joshua, Moses, Abraham, King David…etc) are HUMANS too.


Life is a journey of learning. We can only learn the advantages and the disadvantages of people. We only have one person to imitate – Jesus Christ. We can never compare ourselves with others. If people wanna compare with me, then let them compare ALL (e.g. Cwalk, Videography, Music, Multimedia… etc). If not,DON'T compare then!

5 years of ministry in church have passed. Now I need to face 4 years of study. These 4 years will be my chance to study hard and enhance my knowledge about my God. However, I really do not know how to focus the studies fully, yet serve God with full concentration in church. As I said just now, I am still in ministry state. Though I wanna study, I still do not adapt myself into studying life.

James 1: 2 - 3
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”

Where am I, God?
A student, yet a ministry worker.
A focus on studies, yet a focus on ministry too.


God, indeed, I prayed this to you that I wanna be extraordinary. I believe I am in the process of molding into a shape that brings favor in the eyes of the potter.

Thank you, Jesus.