Chapter 126: Why Feeling Pressurized?

During Vivit's wedding, everyone was watching the video with full of sensation. When the video had finished, many came to ask me about videography. And some even asked me how I manage to shoot the whole scenario by myself alone. "The video clip shows us that it could be more than two videographers. How many videographer are there?" In fact, it is true. God only used one person to shoot the whole wedding event.

Then one young lady said, "Jack, I am impressed. You indeed inherit a God-given talent. Hence I believe you must be enjoying your work when you are video-shooting."

"It is true that I enjoyed my work. yet I do have pressure." Smiling as I replied.

Feeling surprised "Why feeling pressurized? You have the skills already."

"Allow me to explain... Though I praise God for giving me the talent, I still have pressure. The reason lies on people's big day which is WEDDING. To them, it is a precious day. They paid for the videography because they want their DAY to be remembered. And they place their GREAT TRUST in my hand. And how can I ruin their great wedding? We, who work in this field, will feel the same. We must find the best moments to capture. And forever the couple will remember the event, whenever they see the video. Though we have the skills, everything in the wedding event appeared only ONCE, not twice. Once the best moments are gone, it's gone forever."

As I was explaining, she nodded in agreement. I continued,

"That is why I still need God to help me in every video clip. I trust God. Every video business I pray hard, I must humble myself to allow God to reign in the video business. I will always pray when I do the video-shooting, such as 'God, help me to find a great angle.' I must always remind myself it is not me to make the wonderful video, but God Himself. With God's help, that is why, so far, every customer is satisfied with their wedding video. Not only I depend on God, I must also do every video clip in love as if I am serving God. Not only to satisfy every customer's desire, it must be pleasing to God too. God tells us to show our deeds to others, so that His name will be glorified. God gave me this talent; therefore, I must use it in the name of Jesus and glorify our God. To God be the glory!"

The lady, including the people around her who were listening to me, were amazed by God's wonderful work. Together they praised God, and asked me, "Jack, where is your namecard? We will help you to promote...

your videography."

Psalms 40:4
"Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods."

Chapter 125: Vivit's Wedding

Opened my eyes, found myself lying on bed, and remembering it was Vivit's wedding, looking at the time

6:42AM...?!

GOSH! I was late for video shooting. Vivit's wife, Siew Ching had actually informed me to arrive her house at 5:30AM. And I was about...

ONE HOUR LATE?!!

Immediately, I drove my car and quickly get to her house. As I was driving, I was thinking "I thought I had set alarm clock to wake up at 4:30AM? Why is the alarm clock not ringing?" Along the way, I called her and apologized for my lateness. As I called her, her mama was the one who picked up the phone.

"Hello, aunt. I am so sorry. I..." (before I could finish my sentence.)
"Jack, don't worry. Take your time. Do not drive too fast. Or else you may encounter an accident."

When i reached there, immediately I rushed to the bride and apologize, but she smiled at me, saying, "Don't worry, Jack. It is alright. Now relax and cool yourself down. And everything will be ok."

At that time, I felt guilty and yet much more comforted too. I even apologized to God, saying "Lord, I failed you. Next time, I will be more alert and careful in what I am doing."

Then I began to pray hard to God and allow God to lead in the ways which I needed to shoot. At that time, God really gave me lots of fresh ideas of taking angles and views. It was amazing that how God actually covered up my wrongly mistakes in the video. That was fantastic!!

Without wasting any time, I successfully completed a video which needs lots of time and efforts to edit it. When I went to the Port View restaurant, bringing Amanda along, for the wedding banquet, Vivit was excited about his wedding event. As I handed the DVD to his hand, I could feel a sense of relief in him.

As the video clip was shown, there was a complete silence and yet the people burst into laughter when it came to the humorous part. After the show, everyone applauded loud and sound. And I could understand the people were totally enjoying the clip. Vivit, his wife and his family thanked me unceasingly for such a wonderful video.

In my heart, I praise God with all my thanksgiving. And I whispered in my mouth, "God, it was You who make this worked. Nothing from me, but You, my Lord and my God."

Deuteronomy 8:18
"But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today."

After the event, I bought a new alarm clock as I found out the previous one was spoilt.

What the...?

Chapter 124: God Changes Life

In the dark period, lacking of money, thinking of something easy to grab some money...

In the darkness, it told me, "No business? Work in the pub is good. Or selling something illegal. Why work so hard for an income? Here it goes, come with me and you will see your reward."

At that time, I was craving for money. However, I was very clear that I could not sin against God. I must earn money which is legally pleased to God.
I MUST NOT SIN! God, I need to have finance to move on life. Why is the darkness knocking on my door? Is God still being in my life? I have lost my sense of God?

As I was thinking about money, I was going straight to Centerpoint. As I was entering the entrance, I saw two girls walking in front of me. When they were about to take the escalator, I saw something dropped from one girl's pocket. As I moved forward to see what it is,

...it was a stack of RM50 notes.
(Could be RM500)

Without hesitation, I picked it up and called "HEY! The girl over there...! You drop your money." Immediately, they turned back and they were amazed that I returned her the money. They thanked me and continued our own ways. After that, something stroked through my mind, saying
"I thought I need money seriously?!"

Sitting down on a chair, thinking "God, it must be You who have changed my life brightly. If I do not have You, I must confess... I would steal the money if I was a young boy. If You are not in my life, I would not return back the money especially the time when I was in need of money. If You are not in my life, I will not automatically do a good deed by returning money when I was critically facing financial problem."

"I am amazed by You, God. You do not let me gone astrayed, and my life is still in Your love. You had changed me into a better person who would not EVEN think of stealing when I saw the RM50 notes. Seriously, I know I need You, instead of money. My body, my soul, my spirit, my all, they need You. I would understand You will be my provider. Indeed, I would say...

You reign in my life."

Jonah 2:6
"To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you brought my life up from the pit, O LORD my God."

Chapter 123: A Dark Period Of Silence

There was a moment which I did not blog.
People asking me where I am,
what I am doing, when am I going to appear again... also asking what the fish is going on in my life...

That was because I was...
in a dark period of silence

As life still went on, I faced a tremendous stress. I was thinking about my financial stability. When I stepped out into society, I began to understand more about reality and expose even more challenges. My network began to grow - a wide range of people...

As I moved on meeting people, I began to feel restless, and found many people had their finance stable. As for me, what did I have?

Nothing at all to stay survived.

When those dark moments came, my anger aroused, my fear trembled, my stress overwhelmed... People around me worried; they are absolutely upset about my bad situation, some even cried.

I felt a strong darkness started to grow within, and I was confused who I used to be. I even asked "God, where am I? Am i going to be a 'devil'?"

God, I am not worthy at all for Your mercy, but I plead for mercy. Bring me back to You. I hurt my loved ones; I could not control my anger; I did not understand why I become like that.

Negative thoughts knocked on my door; My sense of hope turned away from me. That was one of the darkest moments which I ever encountered. Yet my dear friends were looking for me, and caring for me. The love of God still reminded me who He is. However, my heart was as hard as stone. Even my disciples came to encourage me, yet I offended them, and they were hurt in return. At that time, who can help me? Who am I?
A monster? A person who cooperated with darkness? Then who is God to me?

The power of darkness grew within, and confusing my mind, saying that I was not belonging to the church anymore. The mind came telling me "The church will not care for you anymore." I lost my trust towards them. The darkness blinded my eyes saying "In order to succeed, power of darkness MUST BE compromised." My loved ones could not even talk to me, and they were sad to complain about my temper. They cried bitterly "God, show Your mercy." My mindset told me to sin, and do something illegal, tempting me "Easy money comes from the dark."

As I was about to enter into darkness, God showed His mercy. He opened my eyes and once again, I saw His glory. At that time, God reminded me,

"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go." (Isaiah 48:17)

Psalms 118:5-6
“In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free. The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”