Chapter 32: Painful Loss of Money

Today I lost RM200.
It was my two months pocket money.

In the morning, I went to fetch a youth leader from Beverly Hills because she needed to attend the Youth Cell Leader’s training. The traffic jam in Beverly Hills was extremely heavy.
Along the T junction, I had a chance to turn.

Suddenly, “CRACK!!!”

Car Accident

I turned back and saw a blue car behind me. It was a car accident. The driver told me to come down from the vehicle. I checked my own vehicle and found that it was alright. When I went to see the driver, he was smiling at me and said, (in Malay) “Luckily, it is just a scratch along the plastic on my bumper.” When I viewed the scratch, a small little piece of plastic broke off. I was relieved.

Without hesitation, he responded, “Therefore, you just need to change my bumper.” I was surprised, questioned “I thought you just need to change the plastic only?” He replied, “In workshop, no one sells a spare part for the plastic only. You just give me 2-5 (in malay).”

Giving out a relaxed sigh… Thanks God, I was relieved. “So I paid you RM25 now?”

“No, it’s RM250.”


To my horror, I was totally frozen in my actions. I felt a deep blade cut in my heart. It even pierced through my body. It was so painful. I cannot imagine how painful it is when I need to save money, and I lost it.

Oh no! My money! RM250!!! I can’t stand the pain in my heart. There were full of thoughts in my mind.

“God, why does it happen when I need to save money for my future?” “God, I should not fetch this youth in the first place. So troublesome!” “God, why do you let this happen? God, I need money badly now.” “God, I do not want to fetch people anymore because it only brings trouble to me.” “God, because of this ministry, I met a car accident!!" "God, I even woke up early in the morning, now I need to face this crap?” “God, how I wish I do not serve! God, why does it have to be me?” "God, I want to blame you but it is not your fault! It's my carelessness. I do not know what to say!" “God, I want to hate you but I cannot hate! God, You know my need! Why...? Why...? Why...?”

In times of hardship, it was too hard to praise the Lord. How am I supposed to open my mouth and say, “Don’t worry, everything does fine.”? I really can sense the importance of money is precious in my life. We always say, “We who serve in the church do not look at money higher than God. God is the one whom we depend on.”

However, it is not true. Who does not need money? When we lost our money (especially in times of need), I know we cannot be able to be joyful. It is too hard to smile. It was so painful to bear the HURT in my heart! How can it be recovered fully? Jesus, do you care for me? Somehow I believed God has a message for me. God wants me to live by faith. However, God… This is so hard to do. How do you want me to praise You at this time? God, how am I going to survive?

God… God… God…
What is this?!

Psalms 42:5
“Why are you downcast, O, my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.”

In the end, the person asked the workshop to get discount.
And it costs RM200. I praised God for that.