Chapter 123: A Dark Period Of Silence

There was a moment which I did not blog.
People asking me where I am,
what I am doing, when am I going to appear again... also asking what the fish is going on in my life...

That was because I was...
in a dark period of silence

As life still went on, I faced a tremendous stress. I was thinking about my financial stability. When I stepped out into society, I began to understand more about reality and expose even more challenges. My network began to grow - a wide range of people...

As I moved on meeting people, I began to feel restless, and found many people had their finance stable. As for me, what did I have?

Nothing at all to stay survived.

When those dark moments came, my anger aroused, my fear trembled, my stress overwhelmed... People around me worried; they are absolutely upset about my bad situation, some even cried.

I felt a strong darkness started to grow within, and I was confused who I used to be. I even asked "God, where am I? Am i going to be a 'devil'?"

God, I am not worthy at all for Your mercy, but I plead for mercy. Bring me back to You. I hurt my loved ones; I could not control my anger; I did not understand why I become like that.

Negative thoughts knocked on my door; My sense of hope turned away from me. That was one of the darkest moments which I ever encountered. Yet my dear friends were looking for me, and caring for me. The love of God still reminded me who He is. However, my heart was as hard as stone. Even my disciples came to encourage me, yet I offended them, and they were hurt in return. At that time, who can help me? Who am I?
A monster? A person who cooperated with darkness? Then who is God to me?

The power of darkness grew within, and confusing my mind, saying that I was not belonging to the church anymore. The mind came telling me "The church will not care for you anymore." I lost my trust towards them. The darkness blinded my eyes saying "In order to succeed, power of darkness MUST BE compromised." My loved ones could not even talk to me, and they were sad to complain about my temper. They cried bitterly "God, show Your mercy." My mindset told me to sin, and do something illegal, tempting me "Easy money comes from the dark."

As I was about to enter into darkness, God showed His mercy. He opened my eyes and once again, I saw His glory. At that time, God reminded me,

"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go." (Isaiah 48:17)

Psalms 118:5-6
“In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free. The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

Chapter 104: Facebook

Today, I was studying in City Mall. I met Ze Hao and we had a good chat. And then I took a short nap on a sofa. When I woke up, I continued to do my assignment: History of Christianity.

Suddenly, a voice sounded "Wah! This girl is very pretty."

I turned to the left side and saw a group of boys viewing girls' photos in Facebook. There were many conversations which can warn those girls who view my blog right now.

"Wah! This girl is good for sex."
"Look at her body. Wah! You sure this is her real photo?"
"Hey! I know her. She is very lustful. I got flirted by her once."

"I hate those girls who post fake photos."
"Look! This ugly girl adds me! Should I add?"
"Oh! This girl, I know her. She is a playgirl in Kian Kok."

"Wah~! Look at her pose!"
"Hey! This girl is very sexy! Shall I add?"
"Come on! This cute girl... I will surely court her to be mine if I can meet her face to face."

And there were many different conversations revealing who these girls are. I felt that Internet is no longer a safe place to make friends. I take myself for an example. I just surf the Google and type "Jack's Stuff", this is what I see.



Girls, some people add you because you might have "something" which caught their attention. You know what I mean. It will not be surprised if your photos were posted in nudity website. And it will be extremely dangerous if all people, whom you do not even know, know about your lifestyle. Whatever you say and do (especially the photos and videos), people will notice. You think you will be famous and attractive? You are definitely putting yourself into a great danger. It's better to be smart than to be sorry. Right now, I warn you too, Christian girls. There are many "wolves" which are waiting to devour you.

Guys, even though you are safe from these nudity website, your mind will be corrupted. All your memories will contain those lustful pollution. And slowly, the devil will introduce you pornography. You may not win some pretty girls' hearts, but you will definitely do some other "intentions" in your own world with her. Do not be a fool!



Advice For girls:
Do not post anything personal in your Blog, Facebook and other applications on internet. Add those only whom you know. But some of the people whom you know ALSO cannot be trusted. Beware of adulterers. You will never know that you are the next Asian or Western porn star on net. *Not joking*

Advice for boys:
Do not be a horny person who only search for those pretty and sexy girls. It will lead you to adultery sin. You will never know that you are the next horrorous Rapist in the world. *Not cursing*

In the end, I can show readers what the best solution on net. A boy raised his voice and say, "Fellows, I cannot post anything personal on net anymore."

"Why?"
"Cos my mama is in Facebook too. She will check on my data and my friends."

Romans 10:23
""Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive."

Chapter 81: The Most Foolish Thing

When I woke up in the morning,
suddenly I recalled this incident…
It was about 4 months ago…

During the night, someone called me
“Jack, this is the most foolish thing which I had ever done.”

When he came to me, he was about to cry. I calmed him down, encouraging “Hey! Bro! What’s going on? Relax. Tell me slowly. I will listen.”


He was weeping. I could see the tears in his eyes. He said “I broke up with my girlfriend.”
“Oh… Ok. Don’t feel sad. You will be fine! Be strong.”

“No, Jack. This is not the point. After the breakup, she finds me back. I said I do not want to see her anymore. Then she even asks my mother, my friends, her friends to find me.”
“Well, this is the consequence which she needed to face when she dumped you.”

“I still love her. However, I just could not forgive her because she broke up with me for no reason.”
“Well, now, do you wanna give her a chance to meet her? You still can…”

Before I finished my sentence, he interrupted

“Jack, she is dead.” Then he burst into tears.

“WHAT! When is this?”
“This afternoon…”

I did not know what to do during that time. I just sat down there and listen to his cry. I knew what he meant by “the most foolish thing”. He lost his chance to see his ex girlfriend. At that time, he still loved her. Due to the breakup, he created hatred in his heart and refuse to meet her. When he found out that she was dead, her parents actually explained to him, saying that the reason why they broke up may be laid in this fact. He sorrowfully said “Now I know why we broke up… I really regret! I really regret!!”


Readers, the reason he regretted is because of his unforgiving attitude. Forgiveness is really needed in everyone’s life. Learn to cherish opportunity which can create new miracle between you and your friends. God forgives us our sins; He even gives us a new life. Since God forgives us, we must forgive one another. Jesus Christ came to die for our sins, because He had forgiven us. He loves us. Though you are hurt by others, you still need to forgive them. Learn to face your enemies with a smile every day. Learn to reconcile with them and forgive them wrongdoing against you. Do not regret if anything happens out of your expectations. Remember this verse below...

Matthew 6:14-15
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

The last sentence he said
“If she is still alive now, I will…”

It’s too late.

Chapter 71: Hidden Sin

“Jack, are you in the church?”
“Yes, anything?”

“Jack, I got something urgent to talk to you.”
“Ok. Come to the church.”


I brought my youth to Fook Yuen, Asia City. I prepared myself to answer any questions from him. He started, “Well, I thought my friend is a good guy. However, I am very shocked to know this news.”

He continued, after a hesitation
“He made a girl pregnant.”

Quiet for a moment, I replied, “Hmm… well, anything could happen, my friend.”
“But he is a good guy! Well, he’s not a Christian. I thought he will not do such a thing.”

“Ok, tell me what happened.”
“He wants to abort the child. And that girl does not to do so. She wanna keep the baby.”

“It is not right to abort a child. This is an act of Murder.” I exclaimed.
“But he does not want to let his parents know about this. If his parents know this, he will be banished from home. And the girl does not want to lose this child. Now he does not know what to do.”

“Well, this is indeed a hard case. He needs to be responsible for what he had done.”
“Jack, what should I do? He even asked me for a solution. I am really worried about my friend.”


He looked troubled. At that time, I was looking at the breads on the table. (Very tempting...) Without hesitation, grabbing one piece of bread, bit it, and said, “Well, I have only one solution.”

“What is it?” looking at me, with full of hope.
“Tell the truth to his parents.”

“WHAT?! You sure?” He looked astonished!

“Consider this if he chooses to hide his sins.
First, Will the whole world including his parents not know about this truth when the girl’s pregnancy is growing?
Second, even if the girl agrees to abort the child, when can they get a surgery?
Third, even if a doctor agrees to operate abortion, how much does he need to pay?
Fourth, even if he really got the money, where does the money come from?
Fifth, if it is from his friends, how long did he need to take in order to return?
Sixth, if he has no ability to return the money, will his friends find his parents?
Seventh, if his parents know that he owned people money, would they not ask why?
Last, if his parents are the last one to know, he will really face the WORST consequence."

My youth looked at me for a long period, wondering…
Hence, I concluded, “Confess his sin to his parents, and he shall be set free from living in lies."

He was impressed, saying “I guess this is true. I never thought the consequence will be that bad if he was only trying to hide a sin. I believe this is the only way. Though his parents will be angry with him, yet true enough, he will not be banished from his house; unless his parents found out by themselves.”

I added, “Listen to me. Advice your good friend to confess this to his parents before thing gets worse.”


Readers, this is the consequence if we fall into sin. We ought to be responsible for what we have done. Whether it is good or bad, God is watching us. Even if we can hide our sins from the whole world, God will always know. The more we cover our sins, the more troubles we will face. Just like the story of King David and Bathsheba. The hidden sin will haunt us for a long period of time, maybe even forever. We may struggle in our own hidden sin for the rest of our life.

1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."